Double quarter pounder, baconators too
You would be fat, if you ate like I do
Pizza by the slice, doesn't that sound nice
Combination lo mein with shrimp fried rice
Hot pockets, bagel bites, don't even need to chew
Do you have what it takes to join the fat dude crew?
A chicken, a steak, a chicken fried steak
You know I take my coffee with a little shake 'n' bake
This world can not handle my unbridled girth
If it were up to me i would deep fry the earth
Tearing up the buffet without remorse
And what about your drink? a diet coke of course
Too fat, too fat to fuck
Took off my clothes and she said, yuck
Too fat, too fat to fuck
Couldn't find my dick, so I'm outta luck
Too fat, too fat to fuck
She tried to roll off but the bitch got stuck
Too fat, too fat to fuck
Guess I'll stay in and call up pizza hut
Off to rainbow lounge, a place for guys like me
The drink specials suck, but the STD's are free
I'm glad there's no weight cap for the titty bar
only problem is, I need two spaces for my car
The lights are turned down low, the broads are kinda slow
Once your in the trailer park, anything goes
I got my spanks on, and I'm looking to score
Picked up a whore but we got stuck in the door
Now the time is here, there's nothing left to fear
She's DTF, and I'm in the fuckin clear
just when I thought that I had a little luck
My dick fell asleep, I couldn't get it up
He couldn't get it up!
Too fat, too fat to fuck
Took off my clothes and she said, yuck
Too fat, too fat to fuck
Couldn't find my dick, so I'm outta luck
Too fat, too fat to fuck
She tried to roll off but the bitch got stuck
Too fat, too fat to fuck
Guess I'll stay in and call up pizza hut
Witty and raucous as ever, the Chicago noise-rockers rip into "flat earthers" and "tween shitbags" with misanthropic glee. Bandcamp New & Notable Mar 21, 2019
